Don't Forget to Remember

We try hard to get away together a few times each year -
it helps us remember why we like each other!

It was midnight when I opened our front door and slipped inside. I was coming back from taking my parents to the airport after their holiday visit, and I was both sad and exhausted. Cold, too - even in Phoenix, it's chilly in late December. Just as I was about to crawl into my side of the bed, I realized my husband was all cozied up in my spot, fast asleep.

Total honesty here: At first I was a tiny bit annoyed. Tom always stays on his own side - what's the deal? I just want be warm and asleep like he is!  Suddenly, a memory flashed in my mind, from our earliest years of marriage.

We were flat broke and working at a church about 80 miles away every weekend. To save money, we kept the central heat off at home and used a small space heater to warm up whichever room we were in. When we came home on Sundays, if we were lucky it would be around 48 degrees inside our tiny house. (Seriously, one weekend our fishbowl froze, along with our beta... but that's another story.)

Needless to say, our house was c-o-l-d when we would first settle in. We'd put the space heater in our bedroom, brush our teeth, jump into pajamas, and head for the covers. It became our tradition: whoever got in bed first would lie in the other person's spot until they got there, to warm it up a little. Then, of course, we'd snuggle and tickle and do all those things newlyweds do when it's 48 degrees in the house at 11pm on a Sunday night and you both work the next day.

Sixteen years later, that same small gesture meant even more to me than it used to on Sunday nights, when loving and putting each other's needs ahead of our own came pretty easily. But throw in some kids, a dog, a few career changes, and a mortgage, and buddy, you'd be safer staying on your side of the bed some nights!

It's in my most important relationships, the ones where I am fully known and accepted, that I can be the most selfish. When people are there for me time and again, I may begin to expect their commitment more than I value it.  Life is busy. It's easy to forget the little things that keep us close - the inside jokes, the loving gestures, the silly traditions.

But those little things are the life of a relationship. They connect us to each other. So my challenge to you is the same as my challenge is to myself...if you really care about someone, don't forget to remember the little things. You'll be glad you did.