Twirls 'n Curls

S ome Christmas down the road, my towering pine  Will have matching ornaments, all in a line,  And red ribbons cascading down tinsel of gold; But that's some Christmas down the road. O n that same Christmas, my Nativity Scene won't come from Fisher Price,  And no one will ask, "How long till Christmas?" more than once or twice. No fingerprints in my fresh-baked fudge, no meltdowns from sugar overload - But that's for some Christmas down the road. T hat festive season yet to come will hold no reindeer ears  Blocking my view of the Christmas parade, no childish games that end in tears. No holiday parties with tokens or tickets, and no cheap "treasures" bestowed... But that will be Christmas down the road. T his year, I'm holding on to the mistletoe kisses,  My handmade crafts and those batter-smeared faces. I'll take smudges, bad jokes, and a mismatched tree If it means having Christmas again with ...

Cruising on the Yellow River I am a talkative person. And I used to think I was fairly good at getting around language barriers - I speak Spanish, so I can get by in most Latin-based language situations if I have to. I also know a bit of sign language and I took shorthand in college, which really has no relevance in the 21st century. Plus, we had a Korean exchange student stay with us for a year. All that to say, I had many frustrating - and humorous - attempts at expressing myself in a language where we don't even share the same alphabet. On our first night, we took a boat tour of the city on the Huangpu River. I noticed the locals pointing and staring at us, but being a group of 34 white tourists on an otherwise all Chinese boat tour, that was no shock. (Much of our vacation locals either asked us to pose for pics with them or just took pictures of us being tourists, like this guy filming Tom hacky sack..) You film my husband, I film you... :) As a 6'2"...

  (For other posts in this series, click here ) Shortly after our arrival in China, I discovered, much to my naive American snobbishness, that not everyone uses the restroom the same way. It seems I had been using a Western toilet for my entire life, or a "sitter." In China, sitters are not as common as a Westerner might hope. (Neither is soap or toilet paper, our tour guide informed us the next day, but he always let us know when and where Western toilets could be found!) Hence, I opened the bathroom door at the very urban airport to find this: No instructions. No toilet paper. Just a recessed urinal-type device. Had I gone into the men's room? Doubtful. Should I sit on top of it? Probably not. Putting my college education to good use, I surmised that I should engage in some sort of hovering maneuver. I cast a look back at the kind cleaning lady, who smiled wanly and urged me into the stall with the handle of her mop. She was obviously not going to be a help....

A glimpse into the life of a homeschooling seven-year old: This morning I awoke to find my mortal enemy standing over my bed. After effortlessly defeating her him it in a battle of wits, I had a balanced breakfast of bacon, oatmeal, and half a pop tart with my best friend. I completed my studies flawlessly, then had lunch with royalty. And danced the dance of scarves with gypsies. I had glamor shots taken - can you believe that's even me? Then I hurried to perform gymnastics in an open arena that seats thousands! After my gymnastics debut, I was swarmed with adoring fans who took me out to an internationally-known restaurant (ok, maybe it was McDonald's...). All in all, it was a great day :)

I had my third little girl 2 years ago, and I feel like I've been running ever since. They say that the transition from two to three kids is the true test of a mother, probably because you have more kids than you have hands. "If you can handle three kids, you can handle a dozen!" they say. I don't know about that, but I'm amazed at the difference in my parenting from #1 to #3. You can call it redefining priorities, or a change of perspective, but I call it survival. For example, My first daughter was allowed to dress up in a designated costume between the hours of 3-5 pm. After her afternoon nap, but before dinner and a bath. I recently peeled my youngest out of not 1, but 3 costumes after 24 consecutive hours of wear. I read all the child training books with #1 and was convinced that 2 year olds should be able to sit quietly and happily beside their busy mothers for several hours, doing nothing. After two very active daughters consistently disproved this the...

On a recent vacation to the Grand Canyon, we had the chance to visit a local deer farm . It was incredible (and slightly overwhelming at times!) to be so close to so many deer at once! Along the way, the girls picked up some important lessons about friendship as well: 1. Apparently, a kiss on the hand is not a universal sign of affection. 2. Sharing food is a sure way to win friends... and more friends...but 3. You can definitely have too much of a good thing! 4. Always look new acquaintances in the eye, for safety reasons. 5. A good friend will respect your personal space,   while others are just downright nosy. 6. It's ok to be different, you won't (and shouldn't) always blend in. 7. If your real friends aren't working out so well,   then find some imaginary ones. 8. And finally, to test a friend's loyalty...   grab their tail and give it a good tug! (Go ahead, I DARE you!!)

  Good morning, my name is Liz and I'm filling in for Phil today, Monday, September 12, 2011.  ~The top HEADLINE for today: Homeschoolers across America report that they have seen an increase in family unity and togetherness by schooling at home, as well as creative learning by even the youngest of students. "They love learning," says one mom in southern California, "to the point that it gets all over them, you know? It just kind of...spills out." Indeed ma'am, a picture is worth 1,000 words. ~"I've been on a diet two weeks, and all I lost is 14 days," moans a local housewife who chooses remain anonymous. She is thinking of suing her Internet company for their slow service. "It takes me so long to load Facebook each morning, I simply don't have time to excercise. This is an outrage, it just doesn't add up." It may not, but those pounds sure do... ~ This Just In: Local father caught on camera being absolute...

While my daughters were swimming at a relative's pool on vacation, our youngest slipped out of her floating ring and began to go under.  I quickly tossed my phone on the grass and jumped in to rescue her, fully clothed. No drama there - she was fine, just a little scared, so she wanted to get out of the pool. Cue drama: As soon as I helped her out, she ran over to where my iPhone was lying (safely) in the grass and picked it up to return to me. "Here you go Mama, pho-one!" The scene to follow unfolded in slow motion. "No no, sweetie, Mama doesn't want her phone in the water!" (That's why I threw it out before saving you!) I could hear the wheels turning in her two-year old mind. She looked at me briefly, smiled, and threw the phone like a skipping rock. Only it didn't skip, it sunk. "No-o-o-o-o-o!" I cried, diving under to grab the phone before it touched the bottom of the pool. After sitting a couple days in a bag of rice, I'm hap...

Since we've had a little extra time this school break, we've decided it's time to teach Nattie the ways of a woman. They're never too young to start! Here's what we've been working on this past month: 1. Make sure your skin is protected at all times.   2. It will seem like there is less laundry to fold  if you put on more clothes while folding. 3. However, there really will be less laundry if you simply don't wear anything. 4. Costco is a girl's best friend. 5. Men like it when you share with them.  Especially if it's water, and you get it right in their eyes. 6. You can't put a price tag on fun!!