Learning to Play by Ear

On one of the first days they canceled school due to the coronavirus pandemic, our youngest, Natalie (10), was practicing her cello when she stopped and ran over to me. "Guess what, Mom?" she asked. "I was practicing another song and the first few notes sounded kinda like 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow.' So I kept listening to the notes and tried to figure out the rest of the line playing by ear... and I did! Listen!" Then she carefully played a melody that would have made Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz proud.

That conversation got me thinking: Learning to play by ear... one note at a time... without the benefit of instructions [aka sheet music]... isn't that what we're all trying to do right now? (Note: Playing by ear in the music world refers to playing compositions without the benefit of sheet music. Instead, the musician would simply use his/her ear to feel out the composition and follow the musical progressions.*)

Maybe it's trying to figure out if you need to quarantine your family because you have a front-line job, or wear a mask to the store, or how to support your kids' online learning while getting your own work done... we're all playing it by ear right now, and the melody is changing daily.

As a (mediocre) musician myself, here are a few tips I've learned about playing by ear that are also helping me get through these long days:

• The key to playing by ear successfully is listening. To play a song by ear, you need to be familiar with the melody you want to play, through careful listening. Right now, for me that means tuning in to those around me - credible news sources for safety practices, of course, but also my family and even myself. What needs are presenting themselves right now? Some days my kids need me to back off our schedule and just let them be. Other days my husband needs time he's not responsible for anything. Today I decided just to sit down and write, because that's therapeutic for me, and not stress about the dishes or work or anything else. The key is in the listening.

• You won't always get it right. Sometimes you'll try a note, then another, searching for the right pitch. Other times you think you have a note right, until you add another one in, then you realize the first one was wrong to begin with. It's the same with life, especially right now. We are all figuring this thing out, one note at a time. Decisions we made last week might shift this week with new information, or maybe we start down one path and have to start again. That's okay! The key is to keep trying.

• Your end result will be different than someone else's, because we're all different. One of the great aspects of playing by ear is that you aren't confined to the notes someone else wrote - there's lots of room for improvisation. And one of the things I have loved about watching our community deal with this crisis is seeing all of the creative ways people are helping others, expressing themselves, and staying connected. 

You may be the savior supplying your friends with essentials because you saw this coming in January, or the cheerleader writing encouraging messages on your sidewalk and hanging up Christmas lights. Or maybe, you're just bingeing on Netflix and hugging your kids a lot. However you're surviving this time (as long as you're not hoarding toilet paper or having parties at the beach), there's no judgment here. And I hope the same goes for you.



*https://www.ericksonliving.com/tribune/articles/2009/12/play-ear