The Definition of a Mom

Dictionary.com describes mother as: "a female parent."  

    That's all we get in the dictionary! Not, death-defying life-bringer, supernanny, premier chef, free chauffeur...just "female parent." So I've taken the liberty of making up a few of my own words to describe our job, words that really should be a part of our English language:

Mamanucleosis – the permanent feeling of exhaustion often associated with being a mother.

Momniscience – the belief small children hold that their mothers know everything; this usually fades away well before the teenage years

Mamachromatic – the color palette of a mother’s wardrobe after giving birth, mainly blacks and grays

Cinemama –the entertaining of young children at the doctor’s office or in a long line without the convenient use of electronics

Mamagram – love notes written on napkins and put in children’s lunchboxes

Momster – what mothers turn into when their children come out of their rooms after bedtime

Premommition – the ability of a mother to foresee what will happen when her child stands at the top of the stairs in a Superman costume or attempts to flush an orange down the toilet

Mamaphone – the mode a mother’s speech morphs into in order to be heard throughout the entire house

Sermoms – a collection of repeated lectures for standard misbehavior

Mamalogue –the conversation SAHM’s carry with themselves throughout their day in an attempt for adult conversation


Momnipresence – the ability of mothers to be in at least two places at once, this precedes the growth of extra limbs

Momsilectomy – the removal of a woman’s sanity, usually extracted at the onset of labor

Mommopoly – the mother’s trump card: “Everything you have belongs to ME!”

Mamalicious – translated: one hot mama!

 You can see the obvious affects of parenting in this before/after picture =)