Caught in the Act

 I love magazines. I'm convinced that Good Housekeeping will one day publish an article that will solve all my organizational problems in 3 easy steps, and I fear that if I canceled my subscription to Family Fun, my family wouldn't have any fun. So when the magazine in question promised five "tried and true romance tactics," I eagerly read on.

This article assured me that simply replacing the regular lightbulb near our bed with a red bulb would both create a sensuous ambience and cleverly conceal any personal flaws I might be self-conscious about. Just what I needed!! So on our next trip to Wal-Mart, I went all out and bought the party pack of red bulbs, feeling adventurous already. (I'm blushing, knowing that my mom is reading this right now!)

The bulbs did their job, I suppose, but the real adventure came a few months later. I was watching a friend's three kiddos along with my three, and they were all quiet. You know, tooooo quiet. I realized something was up, so I tiptoed to the back of the house.  Sure enough, I had been careless and forgotten to put the regular bulb back in, and the six children were all huddled in my room, gazing in awe at the love goddess lamp. "WHAT are you doing in my room?" I practically shouted.

"Well, Mama," Linsey's voice trembled, "I just wanted to show them your cool lamp and how it turns your room a different color!"

"GET. OUT."

The kids' parents are good friends of ours, and I was mortified that I'd hear about this little incident again, but so far, so good. And I haven't bought any more red bulbs, but I comfort myself with the fact that it will only be 16 years until my youngest goes off to college, and we'll have the house to ourselves. I'll probably need the party pack of colored lights even more then :)